We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
