Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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