Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
no you cant smoke seaweed
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
