After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
