i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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