Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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