...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
