I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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