I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize