How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
