I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
