He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize