Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
