In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
