The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
