I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
