This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize