just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
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I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
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My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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