do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I think a kid would responsible me up
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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