Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
