Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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