just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He's a Shit stain on my heart
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize