my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Sober January is a disaster.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize