Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
smell my finger.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
