Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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