Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
