Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
