How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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