you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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