Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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