you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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