i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
