I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
