i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You work out of a Hotel?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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