In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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