it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
