I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I can't put those talents on a resume
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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