She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
