Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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