we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize