We're facebook friends in real life
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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