I just pynch a tree in the face
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
