I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
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Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize