So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
as a side note pls kill me
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
