I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
