every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
