Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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