i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize