oh god the rape fog is back!
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
