Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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