By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I want a musical about memes.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
