when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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