Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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