Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
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It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
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Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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