it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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