Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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