It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
my poor anus
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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