so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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